FUCK! i FIGURED OUT HOW TO CHANGE THE COLOR OF MY TEXT, BUT NOW i CAN'T CHANGE IT BACK! I can barely even fuckin' read this. FUCK! Is everything spelled right? Whatever.

 Hey, um... Just a quick question; is this blogging thing going out of style? 'Cause I don't wanna be the only one doin' this shit. Fuck dude. I got a life too, you know. Like, I do shit. You know?

Alright, so this is a little somethin' somethin' for CB.

So, this one time, I was chillin' with CB and like, these kids were havin' a water balloon fight. I remember I was sayin' something like, groundbreakingly important. Like, I was on the verge of this major revelation when all of a sudden I see the most beautiful girl in the world step out of her house and start yellin' at her little brother. I was so fuckin'...what's the word? Awe-stricken. I was so fuckin' awe-stricken that I dropped the joint I was draggin' on (it left holes in my shirt, but I covered 'em with tape. I'm a fuckin' genius...) Anyway, so I see this girl right? And then she looks up at me and sees me lookin' at her and she smiles. So I smile back, you know? Like, what the fuck else am I supposed to do? So CB's all like, "Sir Van, you gotta go talk to that fine lookin' young lady," or somethin' like that. And I'm like, "Hell yeah," and give him my crown to hold for a quick sec. So I walk over there and say hey and she's like, hey and so I tell her that I had noticed her noticin' me and then she tells me that she noticed me noticin' her and so I ask her if she wants to come chill and she's all like, sure, but when I look up, CB had fuckin' bounced. He didn't even say goodbye. That fucker. I totally fuckin' forgot about that...

Anyway, we go over to my wall right, and she's holdin' this fuckin' water balloon the whole time. I don't know why 'cause I didn't really give a shit, but whatever. We start talkin' and I'm fallin' head over heels for this chick, you know? The sun goes down and finally she's like, "Hey Van, I've gotta go. It was fun chillin' with you. Maybe we'll do it again sometime," and then she kissed me. She fuckin' kissed me, dude! Then, right before she turns to walk away, she gives me this water balloon that she had been holding. So like, I keep it with me all night. I couldn't sleep 'cause I was thinkin' about her. The next morning when I go out to my wall, I see this moving van takin' off out of her driveway. I don't even remember her name...

A couple of days later that fuckin' balloon popped. That was the only thing I had to remember that day by. Now, CB, I bring this up because this is like, a metaphor for lost love. You know, like, if you love someone or somethin' enough, you gotta let 'em go in hopes that they'll come back to you, physically or otherwise. I haven't heard from or seen that girl since she left and well...you can't fix a popped balloon.

Hopefully man, you'll have better luck.

Dude, so like, I'm finna' go to this party, man. Marcy's parents are outta town and we're all gonna get blasted, ese. I'm kinda worried I'm not gonna enjoy myself, though. I mean, CB's been all kinds of funky lately and it's totally throwin' me off. I'm sure he'll be alright though. Whatev. All he needs to do is get his mind off his dog. Now, whoever's reading this can't say nothin', but a little bird told me that there's a certain someone whose name starts with an 'M' and rhymes with Darcy that's willin' to get CB's dick wet for him. With her mouth. Or somethin'. Ha ha. She knows who she is.

Dude, I just hope I don't hurt myself like last time. Fuck. Let's just say that tryin' to windmill next to the drink table wasn't the best idea I've ever had.

Damn, man. I need a little chickie-poo to keep me busy when I don't have any other plans. SHIT! HURRY UP PARTY DAY!

Um...So, somehow, I ran out of marijuana. I don't know how I feel about this. Like, I can think straight and I don't feel this pull to tangents and unnecessary digression. I haven't not been stoned in so long, I almost forgot what it feels like to not be under the influence. It's strange, this moment of clarity. I already called Doober so this won't last very much longer, but it's so...different. I find myself thinking about topics that may actually carry some relevance concerning my life right now; philosophies and such. Although, I'll still never be able to properly use that fucking semi-colon. Oh well. You know, thinking about it, there's an odd correlation between me a few years ago and me now. I use to own this security blanket, you know? Something that was always there for me, like a crutch. Now I've switched to gettin' baked every day, all day. So, in all reality, I'm not your typical philosopher-stoner, I'm a philosopher with an addiction. But this addiction isn't manifested by the substance. Instead, it is made so by the need for a partner that'll never leave me...

I hope the Doober gets the fuck over here. I'm not diggin' this train of thought.

You know, earlier today I was walking down the street, enjoying the weather and the beautiful women and what-not. I'm not gonna lie, I was gettin' eyed by the ladies. I mean, it's not like female attention is new to me or anything. I've always been an attention-grabber, ha ha... Fuck. I lost my train of thought. You know, I've never been on a train. Do they move fast? Anyway, like I was saying, I was walking down the street, enjoying the weather and the beautiful women and what-not when I passed this psychic shop. You know, where like, they do tarot cars and shit? And I was thinkin' about droppin' in, but like, wouldn't they know I was comin' in? So like, I didn't go in, just to try and throw them off. But I kept thinkin' about it. Like, they know what you're gonna say and stuff before you say it and they know what you're gonna do before you do it and they know you have Miss Jane with you even when you say you don't. But what if like, two psychics met up on the street? Would either of them need to talk? WAIT! I just had another thought! If two psychics where meant to meet up during the day, would either of them even need to meet up to have a conversation? Dude... I just blew my own fuckin' mind.

I was thinking the other day about like, my eating habits and stuff 'cause I need to eat healthier. I was sittin' there and I was like, "Van," 'cause I was talkin' to myself. Not out loud though. "Van," I said, "why do you eat ho-ho's?" And I thought about it for a second and replied (to myself) "Because they're fuckin' delicious man!" It's like, fuck. How do they get the cream in there? Do they have machines to do it? 'Cause I'm thinkin' about it, and I just couldn't see someone stuffin' cream into a chocolate shell by hand, you know? It's fuckin' weird man. And it's all swirly and shit? It's fuckin' weird. What if like, aliens made ho-ho's?

...Dude. I've got fuckin' space ho-ho's! Ha ha! I'm hilarious, bro.

So, today right? I'm chillin' like I usually do; with myself and my ganj and CB, right? I had been waiting on a delivery, but we hung out afterwards. All of a sudden, CB wants to talk about death and I'm like, "Dude. You're gonna turn this into a bad high, man." I mean, I was thinking that. I didn't actually say it 'cause that woulda been rude and I try not to be rude to my friends, you know what I mean? I mean, 'cause if you're mean to your friends, it's likely that you ain't gonna have any for very much longer. Anyway...what was I sayin'? Oh, right. So, like, I'm like, explainin' about Buddhism and shit and how everything's gonna be alright or whatever. I hope CB understood what I was sayin' 'cause man...