First and foremost: I hope you're reading this, you scrawny little coscksucker. Yeah, you know who you are. I saw the way you looked at me today, you fucking queer; what, did you take a detour on your way to jerking off in the boys' locker room just so you could catch a quick glance of me and CB? Yeah, I bet I'm your dream fuck, you sick little faggot... I catch you looking at me like that again and I promise I'll break every bone in your pussy-ass little body. I'll make you a permanent damn resident of the ICU. Ever wondered what it's like to live off a feeeding tube?

Shit... I fuckin' hate that kid.

Anyway. Another day, another lay. Too fuckin' easy sometimes, you know? Gotta get plenty of warm-up in before Saturday, this party is gonna be about like the playoffs. I am gonna fuck that bitch like there's no tomorrow. Don't be surprised if Tricia doesn't show up on Monday, it's only natural to need a couple days to recover. Hehe... I am going to change that girl's life this weekend.

So, at first I figured "fuck this blogging shit, why would I write shit down about me for complete strangers to read?" But then I realized... chicks fuckin' love writers. And the internet. So now I'm, like, an internet writer. Add that to my amazing good looks, natural charm, sexual prowess and obvious perfect hygiene and I'll be gettin' my dick wet 24 fuckin' 7. Not that it's difficult as it is, mind you: give me three minutes alone with any straight bitch and I'll have her on her knees gagging. This blog should get me in with the nerd chicks too though, and have you seen some of them? I don't know what does it, but more and more hot ones are showing up out there. Besides, all those video games get 'em good with their hands.

Like this one time, me and CB were at the movies, right? I'd just done a couple lines in my car before we got there, so I'm out of my fucking mind high when we sneak into the theatre, one of those dumb-ass slasher flicks that's only worth seeing high and with a flask of everclear. And so I sit down next to this SMOKIN' hot pair of tits and I start doing what I do... you know, talk her up, feel her down... when she reaches over, unzips my pants and takes the last half of the movie to make a fucking mess of things, if you know what I mean. I mean shit, sex isn't even THAT good most of the time. So when she gets up to leave I see the bag she's carrying and sure enough it's got a pitcure of the fucking Super Mario Bros. Goddamn, man. Don't knock the gamer chicks till you've tried it.
Still, the best ones are the tried and true, as it were... I'm speaking, of course, of Tricia. Talk about being well practiced, you know what I'm saying? Still, that's a piece of ass I wouldn't pass up, given the opportunity. Speaking of drunk, horny future porn stars, this party on Saturday? Well, let's just say daddy gets what daddy wants.